Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Fat Duck 

It's a little slice of California in England.

Smoked bacon and egg icecream, anyone? (click Degustation Menu)

Madness, I say. I will have to go there sometime. Yes, with the camera.

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Monday, June 27, 2005

If You've Been Living Under a Rock.. 

The tenth Karnival of the Kidz is up at the creative, talented, and above all, prochein, Amy's!

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The Force is strong in this one. 

Pitch your wits against The Sith. Think of an object, and let Lord Vadar guess it in 20. He taunts you throughout, so do not let your mind betray you!

Apparently, I would be a valuable asset to The Dark Side. It took him 28 questions to guess I was thinking of an avocado!

UPDATE: I'm thinking this should be a competition (Unless it's so old people are bored with it) Can anyone get fifty questions out of him?

UPDATE: I just tried "handcuffs". First question: "Does it cheer you up?" LOL!
Second question: "Is it an everyday household item?" ROFLMAO! Other questions included, "Does it get really hot?", "Can you use it with friends?", "Is it hard?", and "Does it provide entertainment?". I beat him, but it was on an options list at the end. It's been added now, so it won't be so easy next time!

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Saturday, June 25, 2005

It is worksafe...scarily. 


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No it is not what you think it is, after having had a dose of Photoshop. It is a real, living creature. Notice the smile on it's little face. I would not be smiling if I had the misfortune to be born thus.

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It just goes to show that even God has "off" days.


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Thursday, June 23, 2005

Today, in Automotive History.. 

Lotus on eBay for 50p.

What a tosser! If he'd been my husband, I'd have his kidneys up there too!

Linky love to Machelle, for the blatant theft.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Harmless Prank or Criminal Assault? 

Whether or not Tom Cruise should proceed with a compliant about this, I can't help wondering what would have happened if they'd done it to Russell Crowe...

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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Present For Daddy 

I had no idea what to get Harvey as a combined Father's Day, and bloggiversary present. Then I remembered that Evil Glenn left this here one night.

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I'm sure it will be alright once it's been washed.

And - in my search for a suitable gift, look what I found going on in London!

"To the pervy, all things are pervy. A lighthearted look at perverting everyday household items."


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Surprise No 2 

Alex made a post! Loyal, and ever hopeful reader VW spotted it. (Even I'd given up to be honest) I wonder if he'll do the childhood meme, now? Go on over and harass him.

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Sunday, June 19, 2005

A Nice Surprise 

My first ever Number One!

I was trawling my archives for something, and came across Mister Bixy's comment that I had reached the top spot. And I'm still there!

(ImageShack are not having any of it, thus no screenshot)

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Friday, June 17, 2005

Evil Glenn's Father's Day - a Filthy Lie 

I have been neglectful of my Alliance duties of late. Hell, I've been neglectful of blogging itself, thanks to Alex getting me addicted to Kal. Because it's a repeat assignment, I will be reposting last year's lie, which is one of my favourites. If Harvey can do it, so can I. Here goes:

Following the example of several Alliance members, I decided that the direct approach was best. Not having a Blogless Brother to hand, I swiftly invented one, and called him, um, "Fictional Blogless Brother" (F.B.B) That done, I went down to my parent's basement and prepared myself for the retina scan.


I was in! Thank God for that Fictional D.N.A match.

F.B.B: Oh, it's you. What do you want?

Sally: I brought you some food new hard drives.

F.B.B: Cool! So what DO you want? Don't tell me...It's an Alliance assignment right?

Sally: Evil Glenn's Father's Day? Can you hack...?

F.B.B: I'm way ahead of you. It seems that Evil Glenn is so competitive that he makes his children use a ZX81!

Sally: Of all the foul and despicable...

F.B.B: However, I did manage to get to the machine the Instason uses at school. He keeps a diary on it. It's pretty sad reading...

And it was as follows....

6:00 Woke up.

6:02 Brought Mother her Valium.

6:10 Ensured the heavy draperies were closed in The Throne Room.

6:15 Brought Father Energy-Drink in bed his coffin.

6:16 Reminded Father that I was his son, not "prey"

6:20 Typed a couple hundred more B.A.S.I.C commands into the ZX81.

7:30 Brought Father his pipe and slippers socks and sandals.

7:40 Did household chores: Hosed down the dungeons; dug graves; de-furred blender.

9:00 E-mailed Father from Internet Cafe.

9:30 Gave up waiting for a reply and kicked a Hobo all the way down the street.

10:00 Re-introduced myself to Father. He looked blank, but made nine posts!

10:59 Made it to Black Mass in The Great Hall with one minute to spare!

12:03 Took out frustration on the Frank J Punchbag in the cellar.

12:30 Stole Father's moped and glided off to Internet Cafe to send him a Father's Day Penguina X edition E-Card.

12:31 Decided to buy Father a shiny new Top Hat and Cloak. Visited the fancy dress shop but no luck.

1:00 Went to the local bookstore and bought a Hoboskin bound special edition of "I Mao".

1:45 Found Father in the Throne Room watching our birth video. Horror! Instadaughter had gone and transfered it to DVD as a Father's day gift! He was trying to freeze-frame it so he could see was he was typing at the time and link it.

1:46 Father was quite vocal about his present from me. Said "heh" TWICE!

1:50 Mother walked in, glanced at the screen and started screaming uncontrollably , so she had to be carted off to the Sunny Von Bulow clinic. Again. So no Sunday lunch then....

2:00 Father suggested South Korean takeout instead. I had the Beagle burger. Father had Toy Poodle tartare.He claims French dogs are more tender. Apparently poodles are too worried about their coiffures to run about developing muscle...Instadaughter went for the ChowChow Mein which pleased Father: "Classic Commie cuisine. Indeed!"

2:30 Spent another couple of hours with the ZX81. I shouldn't complain really. When I was born, Father was still on dial-up!

7:00 A few of Father's closest associates came round for a drink. Darth Vader is much shorter in real life. I didn't get to meet Lord Voldemort because apparently he gets REALLY agitated around boys of my age...

8:00 Fell asleep typing on the ZX81.

* * * * *

So there's my Filthy lie. All is not well with The Reynolds Family, and Glenn is even more Evil than I had ever dared to imagine. A ZX81, for God's sake....

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Fancy Dress for your Cat. 

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More HERE.

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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Sometimes, I don't know which of 'em is stranger. 

Alex was on the phone to his sister today, and she was asking about Tara's birthday presents. The next thing I hear, he is saying, "Oh, and she got one of those decapitated head things. She's playing with it right now."


Now I could be mistaken, but I am fairly certain that not one of Tara's friends gave her a decapitated head for her fifth birthday. I would have made some mention of it when I was helping her write her Thank You notes:

Dear Whoever,

Thank you so much for your generous, (and original) gift. Would you be so kind as to tell me where you found this? The Police are also very interested.

I went in to see what he was talking about, and it's this:

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And what has my darling girl done to it? She's used red lipstick all over the face and neck.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm turning her into a vampire", she replies.

Poor Barbie looks like Darth Maul in drag.

I give her some baby wipes and go back to my book...

UPDATE: What are these things called? She just dumped it in my lap, scaring the crap out of me, and my response was to scream, "take your severed head away, right now!" I have no idea where that phrase came from. I can just imagine..

"Mummy? - Can I take my severed head in to school? I told my teacher it was my favourite toy."

Lord, save us.

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I forgot to link The Karnival. It's amazing! It's awesome! It's up, at One Happy Dog Speaks!

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Saturday, June 11, 2005

Karnival of the Kidz 

My little gollum girl turned five years old today. Five! Where did it go?

Here's a picture from her birthday party:

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She doesn't seem very impressed with the "lip liner lady" look, does she?

This week, we've come full-circle, with our originator, VW, as hostess. Please send your entries to karnival(DOT)kidz(AT)gmail(DOT)com. Thank you.

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

Kal Update 

A kiss,
on the hand,
may be..
quite "Continental"...(and a bit poofy)

But this Grade 50 diamond armour is a girl's geek's best friend!

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Isn't it stunning? *SIGH*

The great thing about Kal, is that when you're bored killing stuff, you can go shopping! Alex is often PMing me from beyond the grave to say, "Quit hanging around the merchants, Sally. Get back out there!"

I haven't got nearly enough money for this, but I girl can dream, can't she?

The Danish Guys want us to send them some of these:

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If I send a box of them, I wonder if they'll get me my cool armour?

NOTE: Alex does not share my feelings about this matter. I believe he described it as "poxy and gay".

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Monday, June 06, 2005

Balsamic Vinegar is a Gift from Heaven 

Tara eats a lot of raw veggies. Raw food is good for your children, and saves not only energy, but cooking time better spent blogging, or killing demons. But I'd never persuaded her to eat lettuce before today.

I put said vinegar on practically everything I eat, but it hadn't occurred to me to pour it over lettuce. She ate two bowls of mixed salad leaves without a murmur.

Which condiment could you not live without?

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Saturday, June 04, 2005


What not to say to a reporter:

"I have been a Michael Jackson fan as long as I can remember...He touched me as a child".

(From The BBC)

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Thursday, June 02, 2005

Cor Blimey, Guv'nr! 

Tara's speech since starting school, is, quite frankly, appalling. What, I ask you, is the point of her knowing all her "sounds", if she doesn't use them? I don't think I've heard an "h", "th", or "ing" out of her for months!

Naturally, she has befriended the coolest girl in the class. The really streetwise one, with seven older siblings. The girl who is an aunt at the age of five. You can imagine. My daughter is turning into a Chav before my very eyes.

However, all is not lost. Sometimes she gets things from us. For instance, "it was too loud for my taste". She wondered why we were laughing, but it sounded so sweet coming from a four year old.

Other times, I'm not so sure we're a good influence. I was telling her to leave me alone for five minutes today, and she said, "OK, I'll bugger off then.."

Maybe I shouldn't complain..

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