Wednesday, July 21, 2004

When Munchkins Attack!

I barely have the strength to type this, but I have to get it out of my system.

Yes. We had another visit from.....the Munchkins!

They were at the door asking Alex for jump-leads initially. Somehow they managed to worm their way inside by offering to "fix" our door. Alex gave them a packet of cigarettes when it was done, but they STILL refused to leave. This exchange is TRUE, I swear...

She-Munchkin: Is that his dinner?

Me: YES! As we've been telling you, I've been keeping it warm for the last hour.

She-Munchkin: What is it?

Me: Honey and mustard chicken with parsnips, spinach and a cheese sau...It's getting cold again.

She-Munchkin: Have you got a drink?

Me: There's a pub down the road. And a liquor store.

She-Munchkin: So you're not drinking tonight?

Me: No. It's Wednesday. I'm very tired. You've woken our daughter up, and I need to get her back to sleep.

She-Munchkin: (sounding unconcerned) Sorry to wake her up. She's lovely. Lovely little girl.

Me: Yes. But she's had a long day and...Alex hasn't eaten since noon so...

She-Munchkin: So there's no alcohol in the house? You know you're the best friend I ever had and I'll always help you out don't you? (attempts to hug me - Hey! She's met me on three whole occasions!)

Me: GAH! ALEX! Dinner's ready!

She-Munchkin THEN uses the bathroom with the DOOR AJAR as we stand in the hall watching her consort demonstrate the correct locking of our front door to me for the FOURTEENTH TIME, and as we go to usher them out, they dash in to kiss our (now awake and lively) daughter goodnight.

Boudicca left a comment regarding our last ordeal that related to the use of firearms. How I wish we didn't live in a country that imprisons elderly serial victims of break-in's for shooting at career criminal intruders.
The trouble is, that they are neighbours. I'm a typical conciliatory, diplomatic English girl, but Alex is from the north, and doesn't take ANY shit. At all. Unless the consequences upset his family. It's another thing to admire in him that he kept his temper throughout this....

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