Friday, June 25, 2004

A Collection Of Evil Glenn Quotes:

This collection of quotes is drawn from Evil Glenn's forthcoming book "How to dominate the Blogosphere, Gain enemies, and Influence People". Amongst this work-in-progress on the Travel-Throne laptop he left behind that time was a section subtitled "A Collection of Diabolically Evil Sayings"

(i) Don't say anything. Knock on the door and run away! Muhahahahaha!

(ii) The correct response when caught with a bloodstained baseball bat and a car trunk in need of hosing is to say "I thought mercy-killing was legal in this State"

(iii) When your wife finds you in a compromising position with penguin literature, blame Harvey, whilst exclaiming "This isn't Playboy!"

(iv) Any Filthy Lie can be countered by the emphatic statement "LAWYER!"

(v) Any despicable behaviour can be similarly excused. In fact, I've found it's positively rewarded!

(vi) If asked, when you've parked your moped in a disabled space, if you are afflicted in any way, just point to your cloak and top hat. It works every time.

(vii) Speeding past the orphanage shouting "Who's your Daddy?!" is perfectly acceptable behaviour.

(viii) "Vive La France!"

(ix) "I love the smell of fresh blended puppies in the morning. It's the smell of victory."

(x) When questioned about your religious inclinations, and asked if you know "The Lord's Prayer", do NOT reply "Of course! I can say it backwards! Indeed!"

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