Monday, May 10, 2004

A Filthy Lie

The Evil Glenn Fed-Ex Package

To: Evil Glenn Dark Lord of the Blogosphere
Castle Glenn
Black Ice Mountain

From: Amazon.Com

Order #: 000666

Delivery Notes

Driver must not linger outside of the Gates of Blackest Ice for fear of the Attack Rabbits lurking within. Driver must NOT look like a Hobo. Delivery MUST be signed for in blood (Hobo provided). Make receipt out to Evil Glenn Industries (a subsidiary of Evil Glenn Dark Internet Overlord Holdings LLC). Delivery driver should not be called either Frank or Harvey for fear of loss of driver (again).

1 x The South Korean Cookbook (ring bound, laminated, wipeable)

1 x The Necronomicon (pocket edition)

1 x Puppy Farming for Beginners (with free video guide)

1 x Love in a Cold Climate (illustrated, Penguin skin cover)

1 x The Hilary Clinton Illustrated Biography (large print)

1 x Arctic Waterfowl in Living Color (stain resistant)

1 x Arctic Waterfowl 3d Illustrated Pop-up edition (wipeable)

1 x Satanic Rituals for Practical Home Use (includes free goat and pentagram)

1 x DVD: The Littlest Hobo Series 1 (Evil Glenn Studios Limited Edition)

1 x DVD: The Eighties Dance Crazes – Robot & Breakdance Edition (includes free white head sweatband)

1 x Which? Kitchen Knife

1 x I Mao (Large Print red edition)

1 x Footwear throughout the ages – sandals edition

100 x Black Candles

That Cookbook looks good, particularly since THIS recipe lacks a most essential ingredient! I hope” I Mao” is indeed a guide to Commie Praising and nothing to do with that pesky Frank J! As for the novel, mmmm…..Well worth the money… Perhaps I can persuade the Instawife to read it aloud wearing the special lingerie I …ahem…procured for Valentine’s Day… Still all this reading and viewing material for my pleasure, erm, research purposes will keep me occupied enough to only make 3000 posts an hour now. Indeed. Off to the reading chamber on my Moped then. (Shooooooom. Yip Yip Yip. Slurp.)

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